As humans, we always try to preach the positives, but I believe it’s equally important to acknowledge the negatives. It’s weird , but to be honest negatives are the most significant portion of our lives, however when the topic arise, people try not to face it.
I understand their insecurities, nobody loves the negative vibes and the negative energies. But I wonder , what life would be without it ?. Well, Life will lose all its meaning and significance.
But, why I am saying so?
Just think about it. All our lives we try to champion the causes that made us feel like a failure in the first place. Our motive is desired by the fuel to overcome those negatives. Realizing ‘Life is a suffering’, Buddha traded for a life that gives him better meaning and purpose , so that he could overcome it, not just for himself, but to give society a better direction.
Negative is the cause of why we desire for the positives. But do we really acknowledge it?.
Not really, we try to avoid it , in the best possible interest. But, with the world rapidly changing, I think it’s high time we realize, until and unless we acknowledge the negatives, we can never get a path that transcends its border.
I heard it somewhere say , ‘How would you know , what is your boundary, until and unless you have crossed it?’.
Give it a thought. Avoiding the negatives is not the solution, confronting it is the key to solution. Now you might feel, okay I have realized so, but is it so easy to get past through it?
My answer to you will be definitely ‘No’. But do you know why?.
There are two biggest hurdles which are so big ( sorry , which we treat so big enough), that our vision gets restricted. So what are they? . Any guesses!!!
- Fear: You must have heard this word and felt this word’s importance umpteen number of times in your life ( including me). This is not what society preaches us according to their books, but this is exactly what society makes us conditioned to over the years. So, I totally get you, how does it feel to feel so.
But you know what’s the hardest part of existence?. To live with this, for the rest of your life. It’s the biggest burden that can kill you every single day, bit by bit. And I mean it. It is so powerful , that it controls our thoughts, our decisions, our rationality and sometimes even our breathe. It is so unconquerable that even our great intellectual minds can’t control its effect. More than that, our minds feed that fear as it is the only food left in the system. You know why?
Because fear occupies the entire space. There is hardly anything left to combat it, except our wisdom, our instincts and our intuition. These pieces work in silence, and you can listen to them, when your mind is at peace, and efficient enough to listen to that whisper.
So, the next question arise, how do you listen?
Take a deep breath and feel your heart. While the mind is always attributed to be the strongest, in times of fear, there is only heart that dares to take the leap forward.
But how?. What superpower does the heart have?
Well, it has belief , it has faith and it has hope. This is not something you comprehend, but this is something that you can genuinely sense and feel , even if you are the most corrupted person on the heart.
Never trade them for the mind, because the mind cannot deduce beyond its data of conditioning.
Use this to deal with the complexes. Challenge the fear with this simple psychology, ‘If your mind plays with you, play with it in reverse’ . Accept the challenge, but use the sword that has the most purest of intentions, which is your ‘heart’. It is your biggest strength and resource , you have at your disposal. ( While having the opportunity cost of dealing your fear with the help of a psychiatrist may sound feasible & rational, but he/she can only help in guiding you. The action is on your part and how you play it , is your take!)
Nobody can understand you better, than you yourself. Acknowledge the fear first, and then deal with it. Until and unless you know the cause, the delusion becomes stronger and .poisonous enough to consume you completely.
2. Comfort: I guess everyone is familiar with this word. The word stands for security , belongingness ,convenience and support. While the positives are obvious , the negatives are equally challenging. Infact, fear and comfort do have a direct relation. It’s like a spiral.
The more comfortable we become with our situation , our lifestyle, the more resistant we become to change. Why?.
Because change is the unknown. While we can plan for future, we can’t predict it exactly. That ‘s what limits it. But what limits us more than this, is our attitude towards the same. We are so fearful of the unknown, that we always want to control the way we desire to live. This repetition of resistance, gradually turns in to our habit , which gets so strongly incorporated in our system that the mere thought of even trading for a different direction makes us uncomfortable.
But will this uncomfortableness with the unknown , stop the unknown to create its destiny?. Well, its bound to happen and it will, no matter how resistant are you. You are not actually in control of it.
But why do we restrict the unknown, just because we are unfamiliar with it?. I don’t think so. Again the answer comes back to conditioning of ‘fear’.
We are conditioned in a way to cultivate this fear of insecurity within us so deeply, that we fail to observe, the security that we are feeding ourselves everyday become a mirror to our monotonous thinking , that can never provide us with a life of purpose.
The point I am trying to make is, if you know you value security, it is completely fine. But never, take it for granted. Always anticipate for the loss even before making profits, that’s the first thing, we learn when we understand even basics like accounting and business.
You obviously don’t have to run a multi-millionaire business to understand that. You have already something ingrained in your system to understand it better. It’s termed ‘common sense’. Use it diligently !
The moment we acknowledge our comfort , the better prepared in our mind. Hence, the loss becomes less attacking and more manageable in the longer term. Be grateful for what you have, but be never complacent!!!
As I said previously, it is indeed a spiral. Fear generates from comfort and comfort leads to fear. In the middle the lubricant between the two ( fear and comfort) is our habit system.
And if you know , that it takes just 21 days to turn anything in to a habit, you might be having your answer, why I term it as a lubricant.
So, what was the objective of raising this theme, ‘Face the Obvious’?
My entire point of this discussion was not to make you understand anything. It was to make you aware of your intentional ignorance.
The future is unknown. Be better prepared. The more stronger we cultivate our mindset, the more equipped we will be for the future to face any situation and come out of it victorious. And yeah, you don’t have to be a monk to understand so.
It’s common sense. As simple as that. Learn from your past experience, they give you better data and insight!